hey everyone! I'm Back!!!!

Did you miss me?

Anywhoo's, had fun in Oklahoma. Took six hours to get there, and five coming back. I'm so proud i improved.

Well, i promised a gushy-love story...and i have a love story from my past.

It was 2 years ago this month. I've truly only been on a date with one man (so far). His name was Chris and he was the same age as me. Originally, we 'saw' each other at our friend's Bar Mitzvah. They were classmates and my relationship toAndrew, the person with the Bar Mitzvah, was the fact that my personal friend was his girlfriend. I barely noticed his existence and i have no idea if he noticed me that day.

Well, around six to eight months later he found me on xanga. He had told me he was a friend of Andrew (the boy who had the Bar Mitzvah). So he wasn't any predator, i thought to myself. We talked online for a month, plus, during the summer. (forgive the lack of details...)  After a few weeks, i found out from Andrew, who i also talk to online, that Chris wanted to ask me out. As if out of a book of foreshadowing, he told me that Chris used to smoke, drink, etc.  I just pushed it aside: a guy liked me, he can change. No problem. He was always very sweet. I asked him out the following 5 days later. It turned out he was 30 miles away, but due to the fact we were underage for driving, meeting was very hard, but we managed.

But, coincidentally, his ex-girlfriend started talking to me. (to this day i'm not sure how she found out about me... ???) The first time i got her im's was when i was gone, but accidentally left my aim system on (which rarely happens...but i'm human). She was a very angry person, what most would call a "bitch" but i just assumed she was jealous, which she was. I treated her as nice as could, but didn't appreciate her assuming i thought she was a bitch even though i had never met her. She would say that Chris was with her, etc etc, and would then blame the conversation on the children she was babysitting saying that THEY wrote it... Sad but true...  (again: foreshadowing!)

Our first date had been at the mall, and if that wasn't bad enough, my friend came along. (supposed to be a double date...but her boyfriend was afraid of Malls? ...ya...dont ask.....) So basically....it was a girls day out..with a guy to tag along. He was sweet and bought me a pretzel, which i didn't want him to do...but what can i say?

Helpful tip from me: Never EVER make the first date the mall. I thought the movies would be better, but no one listens to me ... *sigh*

And since the only way we communicate was online, obviously my friends wanted in on the conversations. So we allowed it--- he called my friend a cracker. For those who dont know what that is, it's a rude saying for a white person. Very rude. (again: foreshadowing and as Ms_Frappuccino said "red flags") Then my friends continued to say "dont date him anymore" but did i listen? no. i told them he was different to me. ((luckily i've learned that i must listen to others--love really does make you blind))

Finally, near the end of July, we had our first 'official' date. he had bought tickets of this huge radio concert thing. They were for the front area, in the middle. Great seats. It was my first date, first hand holding experience and first time i ever was so close to a guy that wasn't family (ex: hugs). it was a perfect night.

That night i did not kiss him, i remember going home, past 10:00, and telling my mother everything. I told her i wish i had kissed him. (she thought i actually had! How hysterical! yes, i'm 16 and never been kissed, how sad...)
Well, later that week i was leaving for California. 1-2 weeks later i came back home and found that he had dumped me (via aim from him personally). He had said that he'd been thinking about it, being 30 min. away was too long of a distance, especially during high school.
     -what's funny about that was that i was thinking it too, but felt that after that date that we could make it work...?

what hurt me most was the fact that he had been thinking/ was planning on ending our 'relationship' before the rock-band concert. It hurt the most because that was the night i truly fell in love with him.....

And you know what was even worse? he went back with the girlfriend that gave me so much grief!
One thing i do remember was that he did not seem happy about it. the "relationship from hell" he called it. Dumb-founded me. Anyway, they broke up a month or so later. she even texted me on xanga and said "you can have him" ....why would i want him back?
After all that I was extremely hurt. I was a sad little lonely girl again. 

it took me 6 months to finally realize how grateful i was to have experienced that pain. It was my first break up, but also my first ever concert and date! He had showed me what i had always dreamed about and can hope for in the future.

We did not talk for several months after that experience. I later apologized for being so rude, wanting to be friends only because my mother said i should (yes, i follow mother's orders) but he never read it... oh well.

When i started talking to him, he was really screwed up. Car accidents, had it all, asylum too. He had been going through a tough time, and still isn't out of it, i dont think. he is still lost, and whenever i think about him, i pray for him. (not crazy way, just wishing him well...) Luckily now he's better, but isn't quite at a happy spot in his life either.

He changed my life, and broke my heart. I have forgiven and i shall never forget.

To chris, my first love and heart-breaker, thank you for the memories.

hey everyone! Thank you to all who commented, and thank you for all who WILL comment in the future.

Everyone has heard about all the divorces going on? Just as many people are getting married as they are getting divorces. People get divorces for many reasons, along with many excuses. Who's to blame? who knows. And every couple has problems, just because you're fighting with your partner doesn't mean you should quit. I heard this quote a few days ago and this angel said "Love does not end because they stopped loving, but because they stopped trying." never stop trying to continue loving someone.

Anyway, today at church we somehow got on the topic of that exactly 22 years ago on a sunday (which happens to be today, amazing!) was the first day my parents started to date.

Here's their story:
A few months, or a year or so (basically, it wasn't too long before that sunday) that my parents met. They were both dating another person, but they actually MET on this day. My mom was being the phone person for the Bus company and my dad was doing inspection for the buses. My mom was behind a glass wall, as the story goes, sitting back doing basically nothing. Then my father walks by (note: he's EXTREMELY blonde and has blue eyes... i got his characteristics ^.^) and my mom says (probaby to her co-worker) "hey, look at the blue eyed albino!" Then within a few minutes they were talking, but as stated earlier-- they were dating other people. After that day they didn't see each other for a while.

Then, 22 years later TO THE DAY, they were at this festival (i forgot what kind...) and there was this huge stair case. Just like in the movies, my mother, with her long flowing brown hair, was at the top of the stairs, and my father, same as described earlier, was at the bottom. They ran to the middle to meet each other and hugged, saying "OH! Its you! how wonderful to see you!" They had both broken up with their earlier partners and were currently single. So they started dating that day, 22 years ago.

Around 2 years later, on a hot day in August, my parents got married. To this day, they're still happily married and still kickin'! This year, on August 20th, my parents will have been married for 20 years! And like any other marriage, they had their fights and were close to divorce, but they did not 'stop trying.' I'm proud to say they're my parents, and much love to them. Cheers to 20 long years together, and may it continue for another 20!

So there's my happy story! Hope everyone enjoyed it, feel free to give any extra advice and previous things, i hope i can help you just as much as many of you have helped me.

Lots of love,
~anya